


Let me down Slowly

by feentanz



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Suddenly Kissing You Is All I Can Think About kinda kiss, jealous!nikolai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-07-31 20:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20121559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: Nikolai wanted to kiss her, he just realized. There had been times where he had been tempted before, but never like this. Perhaps the sudden revelation of his jealousy today had changed his perspective on things. Or maybe he had just finally submitted to madness. He leaned down, his lips hovering just inches away from hers.





	1. Chapter 1

It was quarter past ten already, and Nikolai found himself growing more impatient. The Triumvirate had met with him in the war room, ready to go over this week’s correspondence. The twins were there as well, Tamar seated on the window sill, Tolya standing in one of the corner’s. Only one person was, very unlike her, late. 

“We can start without her”, Genya offered for about the third time. “I’m sure Zoya is just busy doing something else.” She added a reassuring smile. 

But Nikolai didn’t believe that. His general wasn’t late, especially not for meetings. He tapped his fingers on the wooden table, impatiently. He wasn’t sure why the prospect of Zoya not being there was bugging him so much, but perhaps he was too used to her company already.  _ Or perhaps he was scared what she had been up to all night…  _

Just in this moment, the door was opened. Zoya rushed inside, slamming it shut behind herself loudly. When all eyes turned to her, she raised an eyebrow. “What?”   
  
Nikolai was staring at her blankly. Her hair was messy and tangled, and the silk of her  _ kefka  _ visibly wrinkled. She didn’t look at all as put together as usually. “Glad you could make it, Nazyalensky”, he commented, trying to keep the edge from his voice. 

She cast him a slightly irritated look, but ignored the words all the same. Instead she moved to sit down next to Genya, who was already turning towards her. 

“Where have you been?” Genya asked, visibly curious. She made an attempt to smooth out Zoya’s hair a little. “You don’t look well rested.”   
  
Zoya leaned back in her chair, already reaching for one of the unread files on the table. “I didn’t sleep a lot”, she replied flatly, adding a half-hearted shrug. 

Nikolai didn’t like the implications of this at all. Was Zoya  _ seeing  _ someone? He was surprised at how offended that thought made him feel. Although he had no right to that, of course. She could do what she liked. 

Tamar was leaning forward now, grinning widely. “Been on a little nightly adventure?” she teased, playing with a small pocket knife in her right hand. The blade spun around her fingers so fast it was barely visible. 

Zoya blew a strand of hair away from her face, eyeing Tamar. “Maybe”, she replied, adding a secretive smile. 

Nikolai felt like saying something, but he was not sure whether he could keep the strain from his voice. “Don’t you want to entertain us with tales of your nightly adventures, Nazyalensky?” he said eventually, taking a file for himself to at least continue working. “Who’s the lucky guy?” 

Genya gave him an odd look at the words, almost knowingly. She had always been too good at reading between the lines. 

Zoya didn’t even look up. “None of your concern, your Highness”, she replied. “How many people were injured in the last  _ khergud  _ attack?” She gave Nikolai an expectant look. “That’s your file.”   
  
Nikolai looked down at the words, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t read anymore. “I haven’t gotten to that part yet”, he chose to say. 

She rolled her eyes at him, swinging herself up from her chair and snatching the file from his hands. “You’re useless, your Highness”, she commented, leaning against the table right next to him. He could smell her perfume, the soft mix of wildflowers always whirling around her. And something else, which seemed a lot like expensive whiskey. 

Nikolai gasped. “It’s Kirigin, isn’t it?” 

Zoya nearly dropped the file, but immediately dropped back into her usual careless attitude. “Like I said, none of your concern”, she muttered, moving away from him quickly. A little too quickly. 

“Kirigin?” Genya echoed. “How did that come to happen?”   
  
That was something Nikolai would like to know as well. He watched Zoya shift uneasily on her chair, clearly not wanting to elaborate. Why did he even care? Kirigin was a friend, and had supported Nikolai in numerous ways ever since he had asked for it and was perhaps not that bad of a guy. She could have chosen worse.  _ Or better,  _ a little voice in his head was saying.  _ She could have chosen you.  _

Zoya was picking up the next file. “He promised me a whole stack of Whiskey if I came back to his place so”, she shrugged, eyes on the file. “He can be quite entertaining for a while.” 

Tamar exchanged an amused look with Genya. “Did you break his poor heart?” she asked. “Tossed him away after you had your fun?”   
  
Zoya looked up, fluffing her hair over her shoulder. The sunlight was glowing off her blue  _ kefta.  _ “Perhaps”, she said innocently. “Or perhaps I’m not done with him just yet.”   
  
Nikolai was beginning to truly hate this day. He didn’t want to think about Zoya with any man, and even less he wanted to actually  _ hear  _ about it. 

Unfortunately, Genya was not planning to let this topic go just yet. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, almost accusingly. “You always tell me!” 

Zoya was rolling her eyes, blowing a hair away from her face. “If I told you a story about every man I’m taking to bed we would never stop talking”, she replied. “Besides I’m scared you will do the same and I end up hearing things about David I don’t want to know.” She gave the fabricator a quick look. 

Genya was giggling, but Nikolai felt even more uncomfortable. He was watching Zoya attentively. He refused to think about what she had just said, or the rumours which were spreading about her in the palace basically at all times. The number of men Zoya had toyed with was the one thing he did  _ not  _ wish to know about her. Not that she was not free to do so, but Nikolai felt the hot feeling of jealousy rise within him immediately. He wasn’t even sure why. Perhaps he simply wanted his general all to himself. 

“Kirigin is rather handsome”, Tamar added to the conversation. 

Genya nodded. “And rich. Thanks to his Highness.”   
  
Zoya shrugged briefly, putting the file back onto the table. “Did you send a message to the outpost on the Fjerdan border which was attacked?” she asked Nikolai. 

For a second he had no idea what she was talking about, but then he remember the file he was holding. “Not yet”, he replied. “I will.” His voice was a little more strained than he had hoped. 

Zoya seemed to have noticed, since she seemed slightly irritated for a moment. But then she turned her face away. “Are we done here soon? I have a terrible headache from all that whiskey.” 

Genya huffed. “Sounds like a truly wild night.” She looked over to Nikolai. “Anything else for today?”   
  
His mind was totally blank, but he didn’t want the meeting to end just yet. He didn’t want Zoya to leave again, to Kirigin’s estate or anywhere else. Nikolai cleared his throat. “I don’t think so”, he replied. “But Zoya, can I speak to you for a moment?” 

She gave him a questioning glance, but shrugged. “Sure.” 

Genya and David were already standing up, Tamar jumping from the window sill. Nikolai watched them leave and Zoya remain seated, leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. “What is it?” she asked the moment the door fell shut. She spoke in her usual sharp manner, bordering on being annoyed. “I really do have a headache.” 

Actually Nikolai didn’t have anything to say. And so he said the next best thing which came to his mind, because he was suddenly so irritated and annoyed about this  _ feeling  _ building up within him that he had the urge to let it out. “I haven’t known you to be late to meetings, Nazyalensky”, he commented, not able to keep the sharp edge out of his voice. “Especially not because of personal relations.”   
  
Zoya raised a brow at him, narrowing her eyes slightly. “What are you trying to tell me?” she asked. “I’m devoting too much time of mine to this country already.” She got up from her chair, beginning to stack the files on the table. “You should be happy I even came.” 

“It’s your job to come”, Nikolai responded, perhaps more on edge than he should be. Why was he so bothered by this? Usually, he wouldn’t mind her being late. Unless it was for today’s reason. 

But Zoya was too good at reading his mind, and figuring him out. She eyed him suspiciously for a moment. “Why do I feel like being late is not truly the reason you’re picking on me right now?” she asked, crossing her arms. “Spit it out, your Highness. What’s your problem?”

How could he answer that? Nikolai turned away, feeling himself tense. He had no right to be jealous. And still it was nagging on him. He hated it. 

Zoya waited a few more moments in silence, then took the word again. “Is it Kirigin who’s your problem?” she wanted to know, leaning against the table. “You don’t want your Count’s involved with the Court?”   
  
Actually, that sounded like a terribly good reason. Nikolai faced her again. “Exactly”, he replied. “Kirigin’s good faith is vital to our plans, and if you play your games with him he might come to regret the favours he granted me.” That sounded like a good explanation to himself. 

Zoya huffed at the words. “I don’t plan on playing with him any longer, if it calms your spirits.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Although it is of course none of your business.” 

Poor Kirigin. Nikolai could only imagine his heartbreak. “He will still be devastated”, he remarked, a little lighter at the prospect of Zoya ending things with him. “He’s quite fond of you.” 

She rolled her eyes, giving a half shrug. “Many men are quite fond of me”, she replied with her usual sharpness. “It comes with being me.” She grinned. “At least he got a taste of me.” 

“Lucky him”, Nikolai commented. He made it sound like a joke, but it was perhaps genuine. 

Zoya gave him a long look, her dark eyelashes fluttering. She was still leaned against the table, a strand of dark hair having fallen into her face. 

Nikolai moved instinctively, reaching out to brush it away. His fingers touched the skin of her cheek briefly. “Let Kirigin down easily”, he said in a low voice, now standing just in front of her. 

Zoya’s clear blue eyes looked up at him as she considered the words. “I’ll think about it”, she replied, a slight grin on her lips.

Nikolai wanted to kiss her, he just realized. There had been times where he had been tempted before, but never like this. Perhaps the sudden revelation of his jealousy today had changed his perspective on things. Or maybe he had just finally submitted to madness. He leaned down, his lips hovering just inches away from hers. 

Zoya didn’t move, didn’t draw away. Nikolai took it as a note of encouragement, since he had wanted to give her a chance to interrupt if she wanted to. But he didn’t wait anymore now. 

His lips basically crashed against hers, the force of it making Zoya stumble back against the table. She wrapped her arms around his neck still, basically melting into him. Nikolai could feel the soft skin of her neck under his fingertips when he ran a hand through her hair, drawing her even closer. If this was how kissing Zoya Nazyalensky felt like, he never wanted to stop again.

He pushed her onto the table, not even thinking about it anymore. Zoya’s fingers were running through his hair, down his neck, over his chest. He could feel her everywhere, the warmth of her skin, the softness of her lips under his. It was truly addicting. Nikolai found himself tempted to pull the silk of her  _ kefta  _ away and reveal more of her perfect skin underneath, but he stopped himself. 

Like she had sensed the shift, Zoya suddenly pulled away. She was slightly out of breath, her hands still tangled in his hair. Her blue eyes were wide. “Nikolai”, she began, her voice slightly wavering. “We shouldn’t.” 

No, they really shouldn’t. Because he was a king and she was his general, and perhaps the only true friend he had. Zoya was looking at him now, her beautiful face thoughtful. He didn’t want to mess this up, the quiet peace in their routine they had established. And yet, he found himself longing for more. “I think I was jealous”, he said quietly, not having the heart to pull away. “Of Kirigin.”   
  
Zoya looked truly surprised. “Why?” she wanted to know. 

“Because he got to be with you and I didn’t”, Nikolai replied truthfully. He watched her face, still close to his own. He longed to close the distance again. 

Zoya sighed. “It’s not that easy, Nikolai”, she said carefully. “You’re the king. You’re supposed to marry and have an heir.” She looked up at him. Was she waiting for him to say something? 

Usually, Nikolai knew what to say. Diplomacy was something he liked to pride himself on. But right now, there was nothing to say. So instead he leaned forward to kiss her once more, allowing himself to get lost a little. Zoya’s legs wrapped around his body, drawing him closer, barely leaving any space between them. Nikolai was suddenly wondering why it had taken him so long to indulge in this particular sensation. Because now that he had started, he couldn’t begin to stop. 

“Nikolai”, Zoya muttered, when his kisses began to spread down her neck. “Is this a good idea in the middle of the war room?” 

Honestly, he had totally forgotten where they were. Reluctantly he pulled away, since the objection did make sense. Someone might just very well walk in. 

Zoya’s lashes fluttered as she pulled on her  _ kefta,  _ which had fallen down one of her shoulders. “I should go”, she said eventually. “I need to... “ She slipped from the table. “catch up on some sleep.” 

Nikolai let her go, watching her run a hand through her hair and cast it back over her shoulders. He didn’t know what to do, or think. It was all a big mess. 

Zoya turned towards him again, her blue eyes sparkling. “Now I also gave  _ you  _ a taste, your Highness”, she said, making her voice honey sweet. “Consider yourself lucky.” She turned around on her heel, giving him a last look over her shoulder and disappeared. 

Nikolai stared after her confused, hoping for his own sanity that  _ this  _ had not been the only taste he would ever get of Zoya Nazyalensky. 


	2. Chapter 2

“We need to stop by at Lazlayon today”, Nikolai said to Tolya, who greeted him in front of the palace, waiting with two horses. “I told David and Genya I would meet them there to go over some new developments.” 

His captain of guard nodded. “Of course, your Highness.” Tolya hated the bunker just as much as the underground tunnels, but he never complained. “Tamar is outside training. Should I call her?” 

Nikolai shook his head. “Have you seen Zoya?” 

“Probably with Tamar”, Tolya replied. “New Grisha soldiers have been brought here today. With greetings from Nina Zenik.” 

Nikolai grinned at the prospect, swinging himself onto his horse. They would ride fast and silent, so no one noticed the king gone. They could do without public outroar today, or the whispers a visit at Count Kirigin’s estate would bring. Usually they could have traveled through the tunnels, but Nikolai didn’t wish to bring Tolya further pain. 

When they rode past the training grounds Nikolai scanned the groups of Grisha, looking for his General. Tamar was standing in the fighting pit, swinging her axes and instructing, but he couldn’t see Zoya anywhere. Perhaps she was inside, writing correspondence. Nikolai hadn’t seen her this morning, and he was slowly beginning to miss her presence. He had grown used to her spicy comments early in the mornings. 

They arrived at Kirigin’s estate, leaving their horses and walking up to the front door. Most of the lights inside were still dimmed, and Nikolai found himself wondering whether the Count was still sleeping. It was already midday. 

Tolya knocked on the door, while keeping his eyes peeled on the surroundings. “Seems like he is still asleep”, he commented, knocking again, this time more firmly. 

Nikolai smirked slightly at the prospect at Kirigin’s ecstatic parties, the ones people gossiped about at the Little Palace all the time. They seemed to be quite the fun. 

Finally the door was opened, the Count standing in the doorway. He was shirtless, wearing only a black pair of silk pyjama bottoms. His hair was ruffled, falling into his eyes, and he was strongly smelling of whiskey. “Your Highness!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “What a pleasure.” He looked rather hungover. 

“Wild night?” Nikolai asked lightly, looking at Tolya’s grim expression. A little fun was never wrong, in his opinion. He admired Kirigin for his carefree lifestyle. 

The Count nodded. “You have no idea.” He was shaking his head, inviting them inside. 

Nikolai stepped into the entrance hall, looking around in the house. It was smelling of expensive alcohol, most of the blinds still down. A huge staircase let upstairs, where something rumpled. Nikolai raised a brow at the sound. “Company?” he asked. 

Kirgin laughed, running a hand through his hair. Just in this moment, someone appeared at the top of the stairs. Nikolai froze instantly. Because even in the dim light, he recognized her. He would recognize his general everywhere. 

Zoya was wearing a blue nightgown wrapped around her body, stepping down the first few steps. When her gaze met Nikolai’s she tensed visibly, also freezing on the spot. “Your Highness”, she said, her voice audibly strained. She pulled the silk fabric closer around her body, quickly smoothing out her hair. 

He was still speechless. His gaze traveled from Zoya to Kirigin -  _ shirtless  _ Kirigin - and then back to Zoya. Yet again, he felt jealousy rush through his veins. Because he still remembered the morning in the war room. Back then, Zoya had said this thing was over. Obviously she had changed her mind. 

“Can I get something for you, your Highness?” Kirigin interrupted the silence, obviously not having noticed the sudden tension. Zoya had turned on her heel and disappeared upstairs, perhaps to get dressed properly. 

Nikolai didn’t want to think about her in the Count’s bedroom. “No”, he said tensed, glaring at Tolya. “We will just visit the bunker.” 

Kirigin bowed respectfully. “Of course.” He gestured towards the entrance to the supposed wine cellar. “Feel free to wander around, your Highness.”   
  
Nikolai nodded shortly, then walked off. He didn’t want to look at Kirigin any longer. Tolya followed with some space, obviously sensing Nikolai’s tension. But he never said a word, only walked in silence. 

_ What was she doing here?  _ The answer was obvious, but he didn’t wish to think that far. Why had she told him it was over? They had reached lab David liked to work in, and Nikolai barked inside without knocking. He was much too angry to think about being polite right now. 

Genya jumped from her chair when he came inside, looking properly surprised at his entrance. “Nikolai”, she said, sounding confused. “What happened?” She glared at Tolya, who was waiting next to the door. 

“Nothing”, he replied, trying to ignore the tension within him. Zoya could do what she wanted, and also  _ who  _ she wanted. That was none of his business. “How far along with the poison are we?” He was desperately trying to occupy his brain with something else. 

Unfortunately, just in this moment the door was opened. Zoya stepped inside, looking just like she always did. Her blue  _ kefta  _ was glowing, her hair sleek and falling over her back. 

Genya cast her a surprise look. “I didn’t know you were coming”, she noted. “Aren’t you training with the new soldiers?”   
  
Zoya cleared her throat, crossing her arms while holding as much space between her and Nikolai as possible. “I was interested in your progress”, she replied firmly. 

“Also she was already here, which was very convenient”, Nikolai remarked, trying to keep the edge from his voice but failed catastrophically. “Instead of in the capital, doing her job.” 

Zoya shot him a warning glance, which very clearly said  _ shut up or I’ll make you.  _ She was shifting uncomfortably. 

But Genya had already understood. She giggled a little. “I see”, she mused. “So much about tossing away your play thing.”   
  
Zoya rolled her eyes, stepping from one foot onto the other and giving David an expectant look. “Are you going to tell us about the poison or not?” she snapped, in her usual tone. 

David then started a long talk about how he and Genya had found an almost perfect weapon to be used in warfare, against  _ khergud  _ as well as normal soldiers. Nikolai watched Zoya’s face while listening, seeing the general’s mind at work. She was asking questions occasionally, probably already planning to tear down the Fjerdan defenses. They truly had no idea what - or who - was coming for them. 

It didn’t help with Nikolai’s anger though, and it distracted him enough for him not to have the faintest idea what David had talked about. He tried to act attentively, nodding from time to time, but he couldn’t get the image of Zoya on those stairs out of his head. What was going on with him? 

Eventually, he couldn’t hold back anymore. “We need to talk”, he told Zoya, gripping her arm and almost dragging her out of the room under the surprised glances of Tolya, Genya and David. They were probably thinking he had lost his mind. 

“Let go of me”, Zoya protested, pulling herself free once they were in the corridor outside the room. Nikolai pushed the door shut. “What’s your problem?” she hissed, lifting her chin and giving him a stubborn look. 

He was guessing she had a very good idea what his problem was. “You are supposed to be in Os Alta”, Nikolai said angrily, keeping his eyes pinned on her. He refused to look anywhere else but her face. 

“Why do you care?” Zoya snapped back, crossing her arms. 

_ Yes, why did he care?  _ “You lied to me”, he replied, this time much calmer. “When you said it was over.” 

For a second she looked almost guilty. “I didn’t lie”, Zoya muttered, giving him a stubborn look. “I didn’t exactly plan this.” 

Now that statement did little to improve Nikolai’s mood. Instead he felt new rage boil up within him. It wasn’t like him to get angry like this, but he couldn’t help himself. But arguing was tedious, especially with Zoya, and he didn’t know how to explain his feeling anyway. 

Without further thinking, he crossed the distance between the two of them and crashed his lips down onto hers. He could feel Zoya tensing in surprise at first, then her fingers running over his neckline as she melted into his arms. She gasped as he pushed her roughly against the wall, his fingers wandering down her back. Fairly enough, he had no idea what he was even doing. But she was kissing him back, which was a good start. He allowed himself to relax into the kiss, into the feel of Zoya‘s lips against his own, the hot feeling of desire rushing through him as soon as her skin touched his. 

Eventually Nikolai ran out of breath, pulling back slightly for a moment. He kept Zoya pinned against the wall, scared she might slip away from his touch. 

Her blue eyes were watchful as she leaned her head back against the wall, gasping for air. “If I knew you being jealous would be so much fun I would have started seeing Kirigin a lot sooner”, she commented, her lips curling up in a smile. 

Nikolai rolled his eyes, placing a few kisses against the skin of her neck. “I’m not jealous”, he muttered, although it was probably a useless argument. “I just don’t like for you to settle below your standards, Nazyalensky.” His lips touched her collarbone. 

Zoya huffed, playing with the ends of his hair. “And you are my standard, your Highness?” she asked, batting her eyelashes. 

“Definitely”, he replied, pressing his lips against hers again. Zoya wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. She still tasted of whiskey, but he couldn’t mind any less. It felt deep and firm and absolutely addicting, and there was no way he would ever get the sensation of Zoya in his arms out of his mind. 

He got lost in the kiss again, and later he couldn’t have said if they had kissed for an hour or a minute. 

Suddenly someone cleared his throat, and Nikolai jumped back in surprise. Genya was standing in the doorway, her eyes wide in confusion. “Oh”, she exclaimed. “That’s why you took so long coming back.” 

Zoya was clearing her throat, giving Nikolai a quick look since he was still holding her against the wall. “Could you let go of me?” 

He stepped away quickly, under the amused looks of Genya. Zoya was sorting her hair out, then turned to Genya. “What’s so important it couldn’t wait another minute?” 

Genya raised a brow. “ _ Minute?  _ You’ve been gone almost fifteen minutes!” She shook her head. “I thought you might have murdered each other.” She added a sigh. “But we just ran a test with the poison and thought you might be interested in the results?”   
  
Zoya leaned forward slightly, her lips very close to Nikolai’s ear. “By the way”, she purred. “I’m going to the party tomorrow with Kirigin.” Her eyes met his, and she was smirking. “So you might want to find yourself a date as well.” With those words, she slipped away from him and back into the room. Nikolai could only stare after her. 

The next evening, Ravka was celebrating the Summer Solstice. Nikolai was hosting a party in the Little Palace - or more so, Genya was hosting a party. She had planned it all herself, and was now happily chatting with guests, delivering drinks, and running around. 

Nikolai himself was sitting in one of the corner’s, already done with the obligatory small talk he had been doing, and was instead staring into his drink. It was his third whiskey, and he could feel it going to his head. He didn’t have Zoya’s immunity to alcohol. 

Just as he had finished that thought, she came walking in. His general had chosen blue silk for tonight, hugging each one of her curves perfectly. She was walking on Kirigin’s arm as expected, his eyes clinging to her with every move. Nikolai felt the strong urge to leave and go for a walk. Although obviously, he couldn’t. 

Instead he watched Kirigin lead Zoya onto the dancefloor, with a mixture of anger and frustration. For a second her eyes flickered to him, and a small smile spread across her lips before she turned away. 

“Your Highness”, a voice interrupted his sulking, and Nikolai looked up. 

Genya was giving him an unhappy look. “You’re not enjoying my party”, she observed. “David already left to his workshop, too”, she added, sounding genuinely upset. 

Nikolai sighed. “It’s a lovely party, Genya. You’ve outdone yourself.” 

She smiled widely at the words, then her eyes drifted over to the dancing couples. “So it’s Zoya’s company who ruined your mood?” Her eyes were sympathetic. 

He quickly drowned the rest of his whiskey. “I shouldn’t have kissed her”, he blurted out. Because now he couldn’t stop thinking about her lips on his. The feeling was haunting him. Like he had gotten addicted. 

Genya sighed deeply. “You probably shouldn’t have, but it’s too late now, isn’t it?” She took the empty glass from his hands. “You should stop drinking, your Highness.”   
  
Nikolai was watching Zoya leave the dancefloor, Kirigin at her heels. He was talking about something apparently, and she was smiling mildly while batting her lashes. “I disagree, my dear Genya”, he replied dryly. “I haven’t drunk enough just yet.” 

Genya didn’t stop him when he drowned another bottle of whiskey all by himself, and neither did anyone else. 

Afterwards, he felt dizzy enough that walking over to Zoya felt like a good plan. He interrupted Kirigin mid-conversation, presenting his most charming smile. “May I borrow my general for just a moment?” he asked, already reaching for Zoya’s arm. 

Kirigin bowed respectfully. “Of course, your Highness”, he added, then took his leave at last. 

“You’re drunk”, Zoya observed, her hand lazily resting on Nikolai’s shoulder as he pulled her onto the dancefloor, perhaps with a little more force than necessary. Her blue eyes were resting on his face, studying his expression. “You seem a little on edge today, your Highness”, she added. 

Nikolai pulled her closer, his arm wrapping around her waist. He could feel a shiver running over her skin beneath his fingertips. “Is Kirigin aware that you’re using him?” he whispered into her ear, letting his lips brush over her skin. 

Zoya tensed at the touch, her lashes fluttering for a second. So he did have an effect on her, after all. “None of your concern, your Highness”, she replied, pulling away as far as possible without breaking the dance. “It’s quite enjoyable to see you jealous”, she added, a smirk crossing her lips. 

“I’m simply worried about the poor Kirigin’s heart”, he replied, trying to keep his voice flat. Because honestly, that was the last thing which concerned him. 

Zoya gave him a long look, her fingers briefly brushing over his neckline. “And what about your heart, Nikolai?” she asked, the hint of a smile on her lips. “Aren’t you worried about that?” 

_ His own heart was already lost.  _ He found himself faintly wishing for more whiskey. The song ended, and he was forced to let go of Zoya. She straightened her dress, giving him a last glance, and swept away. Kirigin was handing her a drink as she reached him. 

Genya was suddenly next to Nikolai, reaching for his arm and pulling him away. “You really need to stop staring like this, your Highness”, she muttered, hands on her hips as she blocked Zoya from his view. “People will notice!”   
  
Usually, he would have cared. But after the whiskey, that thought had slipped to the back of his mind. “I can’t believe she’s here with  _ him _ ”, he muttered, more to himself than to Genya. 

But she seemed to have understood just fine. “I’m sorry”, she said quietly. “But Zoya is only doing this because she knows she could never come here with  _ you. _ ”   
  
That caught Nikolai’s attention. “What?” 

Genya sighed. “You’re the king. She’s your general.” Her eyes were watching attentively. “She’s just upset.” 

Quite honestly, Zoya did not seem upset at all. Just now, she was laughing at something Kirigin had said while nipping on her drink. “I just want... “ But he didn’t finish. What  _ did  _ he want? 

“Before making any decisions, you should sober up”, Genya added. “Right now. Before drawing any more attention.” She smiled. “Please.” 

He didn’t wish to upset Genya, and so he followed the request and left the party, just when Kirigin pulled Zoya back onto the dancefloor. Her eyes met his for a second, but then she was swallowed by the crowd. 

But Nikolai didn’t walk straight to his rooms. Instead he stepped out into the cool air of the balcony, letting the breeze brush over his skin. It cleared his head a little, although he was still reasonably drunk. 

Suddenly, there were steps behind him. He turned around swiftly, having to steady himself on the balcony railing to prevent stumbling. 

Zoya raised a brow at that, her skin basically radiant in the moonlight. “You really shouldn’t drink”, she commented, approaching him slowly. “I thought Genya sent you to bed”, she added. 

Nikolai shrugged. “I found some fresh air very helpful”, he replied, but not with his usual spite. 

Zoya still smiled, stopping in front of him. “You need a lot more than fresh air to sober up, your Highness”, she remarked, looking up at him. She looked even more beautiful like this, bathed in moonlight. If that was even possible. 

For a moment, he could only stare at her. There was no witty remark on his tongue, nothing he could have said. And so instead, he finally gave in to the sensation and kissed her. 

Zoya’s fingers curled up in his shirt as he pushed her backwards against the railing, hands brushing through her hair, feeling her skin under his fingertips. He could feel her all over him, the scent of wildflowers around him, making him much more dizzy than whiskey ever could. It was truly maddening. 

“Nikolai”, Zoya muttered as his lips went down her neck, her lashes fluttering. “Someone will see-” She brushed a finger over his collarbone, where a button from his shirt had come undone. “We can’t risk it”, she added. 

He watched her for a moment, the whiskey still pulsating through his veins. This was a terrible idea. A truly terrible idea. “Let’s go inside then”, he said quietly, lips brushing against hers again. A promise for more. 

Zoya hesitated. She was the sober one, after all. “You wouldn’t be saying this if you were sober”, she muttered, looking away as if to hide the look on her face. 

“I would”, Nikolai disagreed. “I only got drunk because otherwise I might have murdered Kirigin right on the spot, and I can’t effort that for my reputation.” 

A spark of amusement passed over her face. “You should go to bed”, she replied, dropping her hands. 

Perhaps Nikolai should be thanking Zoya for this piece of logic from her side, because his seemed to have disappeared somewhere at the bottom of a whiskey glass. 

Surprisingly enough, she followed him to his chambers nonetheless. “Just making sure you don’t get lost again”, she remarked as the door fell shut behind them, and Nikolai sank down on the edge of his bed.   


But she was still here, in the middle of his room, watching his every move. 

“You can stay”, he offered, again. 

Zoya gave him a sharp look. “To chain you to the bed again, your Highness?” she asked sweetly. 

Nikolai grinned, leaning back against his pillows. “Chain me to whatever piece of furniture you like, Nazyalensky”, he shrugged. “I’m open to suggestions.” 

Zoya was rolling her eyes, but sat down on the edge of the bed regardless. “You’re an idiot, Nikolai.” And still, she didn’t leave. 

He felt an odd kind of satisfaction when she rolled onto her stomach next to him, resting her head on one of his pillows. 

“But keep your hands to yourself, your Highness”, Zoya muttered, brushing a hand through her hair. “Don’t get any ideas.” 

He huffed, pulling the blanket over the two of them. “I would never even dare”, he replied. 

When Genya walked into the room the next morning to check on Nikolai, she was surprised to find Zoya sleeping in the king’s arms, her head peacefully resting on his chest. She didn’t have the heart to wake them, and so silently slipped out again. 

**Author's Note:**

> this might get a second chapter if i feel inspired enough! <3


End file.
